10. Only have sex with one trusted partner.

Being involved with one person you trust not to cheat on you should keep you safe from STDs. However, make sure you and him or her have been tested. People don’t always know when they are infected.

9. Get a sex doll.

As long as you aren’t buying used or sharing it, you won’t be catching anything from a sex doll.

8. Put a badger in your pants.

No one in their right mind will try having sex with someone who has a badger in their pants; although you may not be able to have sex after the badger has gnawed on you either.

7. Give yourself a hand.

That’s right, masturbation. You don’t need someone else to have fun, plus any diseases your hand has, you already have and don’t need to worry about catching.

6. Get out the plastic wrap.

When giving oral sex to a woman or when rimming, use plastic wrap to protect yourself. You could also use a dental damn or a condom cut up and opened flat.

5. Wrap up your sex toys.

Yep, even sex toys need protection. If you have sex toys you share with a partner, put a condom on them, then switch to a new condom when you switch the toys between the two of you.

4. Use condoms.

While condoms won’t prevent STD’s 100% of the time, they are highly effective.

3. Set your partner on fire.

Fire should cleanse him or her of any diseases. Of course it may also cleanse him or her of that stuff called flesh.

2. Don’t have sex.

The most obvious way, but this is also the least fun way.

1. Read top 10 lists.

If you spend all your time sitting at the computer reading top 10 lists, you’ll never have to worry about catching something from sex. You won’t be having it.